I love my wife, I hurt my wife, I need my wife, I miss my wife, when does the this all go away?

HIS!
#1. June 23rd, 2009, at 1:42 AM.

Leave her alone. She was a sucker to allow you in her life. Hopefully she has learned a good lesson and won’t let it happen again. You don’t deserve them back. Sorry!

bliss4yahoo.com
#2. June 24th, 2009, at 3:53 AM.

You got it give her time, Let it happen.

Reina B
#3. June 24th, 2009, at 6:55 AM.

sorry all this happened and well let me tell you i am glad you got help and are doing better in my opinion you might want to mention the good things you are doing for yourself but just let her know that you want her to know what you are up to that you are doing better and that you jsut wanted her to know give her time she will see all the good that you are doing and how great you are she will notice all that and when she is sure all this is true she will talk to you do not pressure her give her time and space understand her and hang in there

johnnysunshine11
#4. June 27th, 2009, at 1:18 PM.

Sit down and hand write her a letter. You messed up so bad over time its hard for her to even comprehend what to make of you now. A letter won’t hurt…it may not answer any questions but it most likely will make you feel better.

Chester™
#5. June 27th, 2009, at 6:33 PM.

Only God can help you.

nyahaha
#6. June 30th, 2009, at 12:07 AM.

tell her that you love her,prove to her that you have become the man that she ever wanted, prove to her that you’ve change. DO something that will show her in front of her own eyes that you have change. you might even copy paste what you have written here and mailed it to her. You must prove it to her that you really love her and she meant everything to you. Just drop down to your knees and promise to her you will take good care of her and ur family and yourself until the end of your life. if she really loves you, she will accept you. and please dont betray her again

rustedbutterfly
#7. June 30th, 2009, at 7:42 AM.

If you’ve truly accepted responsibility for your actions, then you will realize that this situation is now completely out of your hands. You have effectively destroyed your wife’s comfort zone and she is taking the time she needs to deal with the resulting backlash. You need to respect her boundaries and give her the space she needs, instead of being so needy and expecting her to allow you to come waltzing back with open arms. You need to realize just how traumatic it is for a woman to be hit by her husband. Until you deal with HER pain, you have not fully accepted the responsibility or the full import of your actions. The ball is no longer in your court. You must follow her instructions, realize these things take time, and respect her boundaries by allowing her the space she needs. Then she will come to you. What she says is entirely up to her, and also out of your hands. It will be up to you to accept entirely what she says, and if she is willing to work it out *at that time* you will need to acknowledge her needs and go the extra mile to prove yourself to her.

Understand that she may decide in the end to go ahead and leave. But if you truly love her, you will wait until she is ready to resolve the issue. This is her time to heal; you have had yours and she needs this. Let her be until she is ready.

Good luck, and continue your journey. It is a good thing that you have gotten sober again, and commendable.

Cover_Girl
#8. July 3rd, 2009, at 2:35 AM.

Grow, up and show her your an upright man. Women do not like men that cant take care of their lives. It makes a woman feel uncertainand scared. If so, a woman knows she can do it by herself. We dont need a man that whines, cries, and is sorry for everything ugh how annoying. SHe needs space becasue she is prob annoyed by you by this time. You never mean what you say, and you never keep your promises. We like are men to stand up with pride and rise up like eagles and lead us not the other way around. Get your LIFE STRAIGHT and stop whinning please!!!! BE A MAN and get a life. Sorry but i’m a woman and what you just described annoyed me because there is this guy that fits that description that wants to date me now and you know whatI say to him NOPE!!! Hang in there but show her your a man and that you are over here and that you are the head of your household and that your working hard without her help and you can do this.!! Be smart and Strong.

mylittleangel
#9. July 5th, 2009, at 4:57 PM.

don’t give up keep doing what your doing. whether you call her or text her believe me she reads and listen. she will come around. it seems like you really hurt her when you hit her. She probably wants to to express how you were feeling at the time of that incident and also express what’s going on in your life. let her know she she is your world

babbycubb
#10. July 6th, 2009, at 4:49 PM.

just let her move on.

Tatem
#11. July 7th, 2009, at 12:33 PM.

It took time for you to screw things up and its going to take time to make thins better. There is no better way to show someone that you have changed then time…..she needs time to see that your not relapsing and time to see that your trying to get back on your feet and working and continuing to grow in the Lord. The more you push yourself on her the more she is going to see that you are still to aggressive. That could take a year. But in all honesty she has to think of her kids right now that is her first priority. Think about it this way. If your daughter came to you and told you all of this about her husband what would you tell her to do?

Crystal B
#12. July 8th, 2009, at 1:31 PM.

Wow… that is a really intense story and I think the magnitute of it should be discussed with counselors, pastors, family, and friends more than people on yahoo questions. But thanks for taking the time to write.

If you really want my opinion, here it is: you lost her. You had your chance, and you blew it. There is always room for forgiveness, but she is not obligated to forgive you. She has a choice to make, and no amount of phone calls, no crying, pleading/begging is going to make it any easier on her. Leave her alone for a while. If she comes back to you, it may not be for YEARS. You need to follow through in what you say is going on in your heart–Keep growing in the word of God.. keep becoming a better you. If you are truly changing into who you say you are, then you don’t need HER to validate that. I honestly dont’ believe that you are ready for her, or you would not be so worried about getting her back. Let her live her life and you live yours. If somewhere down the road she comes back, then great. But for now, you need to move on.. not necessarily with divorce–let her ask for that (unless it’s what you want).

cherylangelclb
#13. July 9th, 2009, at 9:27 PM.

you can go to counseling with her while you are in counseling yourself. i think you two should give it another shot, but you sir need to get out of the drug culture for good. if all your buddies use and drink don’t hang around them any more. if it helps go to church or find a way to volunteer your time to helping others until you meet new friends so you don’t get lonely friend wise. here’s the thing though this is most likely the last chance you’ll get to turn it around. to me it sounds like you can, but you better make sure you do. i hope you can get through this. if you need someone to talk to email me.

Gypsy Red
#14. July 11th, 2009, at 1:31 AM.

You have abused and used her enough. For now, get yourself straight, sober and healthy. Get your life together and become a better man. Get your business going and start paying her back any money you owe her. After you have gotten your life straightened out and you can be the kind of man she deserves, then you maybe you can entertain the idea of trying to start over. But until you can prove yourself as a man, leave her alone.
Get help
Red

Barb Outhere
#15. July 13th, 2009, at 9:24 PM.

Every time she has opened her heart, her arms and her wallet to you, you abused her trust in you. IF you two do ever get back together it will take a long time and lots of effort on your part, to rebuild that trust.
It could be that she’s waiting to see if you two will get divorced if your “recovery” doesn’t stick this time. Or it could be that she, out of some remnant of her love for you, is waiting until you are strong enough to take the news that it IS over.
Whatever happens from here what you need to do is acknowledge that it is up to her to decide what is right for her and her children, because she has already lived for years with you choosing what it is you want, and that hasn’t been good for her.

cod4grrl
#16. July 16th, 2009, at 4:53 PM.

it seems as though, she really loves you. But, you hurt her you kept abusing her and using her and you wouldn’t stop. A woman can love you, but they can only hold onto someone while they’re getting hurt for so long. You need to first just leave her alone, let her have her space because by crowding her you’re only making it worse. You need to stay clean, and become a better person before you even think about trying to get back into her life. Good luck.

killinshel
#17. July 17th, 2009, at 7:13 PM.

WOW, that’s a lot of abuse to put up with from a man who “loves” you. You need to be drug free for at least 1 year. She and her children need a lot of time to lick there wounds. Not to mention get back on there feet after you snatched the rug out from under them financially. Sometimes it is better left alone. If you really love her then maybe you are the worst thing for her and should realize that, and stay away. I don’t know where she is in her healing. And even if she does heal, Does that mean to you she wants to return to you? Maybe not. All you can do at this point is fix you!!! Love her enough to respect her and her children and do as she wishes you to do. Your not ready to be in a relationship, I don’t know if 1 year is enough but at the very least 1 year.

champs élysée
#18. July 20th, 2009, at 5:49 PM.

I wouldn’t even let a drinker in my life, let alone an addict. Leave her alone.

Goldi Lox
#19. July 20th, 2009, at 6:03 PM.

If she wants to file for divorce she will, you don’t have that right, it is her choice not yours, you did enough horrible things to her and now you are considering filing for divorce to add insult to injury? What is wrong with you? You took this womans power away, now you need o give it back. For starters, fix what you messed up with the credit cards, give her cars back, pay her back for anything you owe her, pay back her retirement, start a college fund for the kids, pay her bills, and leave her alone! Don’t bother her, don’t call her. Leave her alone and then after a while, after you’ve done all these things, write her a letter telling her how you feel. Explain how sorry you are, how bad you feel, how much she means to you, and what you want, weather it’s counseling or therapy or whatever. Then wait to see how she responds. If she agrees to see you again then take it SLOW. Date her again before you jump back into living together. Like go to dinner and a movie then drop her off at home and you go back to your house. If you get a second chance, start all over again from the very beginning. And this time don’t mess up.

But my personal opinion; you don’t sound like you love her and you don’t sound all that sorry either. You are weak and you need her like you need your drugs. Your whole message just sounded very selfish. Did you ever even think about how much you just messed up that 15 year old girl? Look at what kind of example you set for her. Girls who grow up with abusive men – even if you never touched her – most likely end up with abusive men. Think about that.

alrightmeanuglyangleisgone4good
#20. July 20th, 2009, at 8:29 PM.

You’re going to have to prove yourself and that’s going to take way longer than a month or two. You’d be lucky for her to even talk to you again! Why is it always that you have to totally loose what you love for you to open your eyes? You know you don’t deserve another chance don’t you? Maybe the best thing would be for you to just leave her and her kids alone, since you’ve hurt them so badly already. They sure don’t need any more of you and your problems in their life!