Drug Abuse

Question by the Vampire Claudia: Birthmoms are not drug addicts or child abusers!?
Wow, there are no many negative comments about birthmoms and birthdads. We’re described as “unfit”, “drug-addicts”, “unworthy of being a parent in the future”. And I won’t even get into some of the rude things people say when they find out you have an older child you parent. Some people have outright said that I should have given up my four year old too! The only ones that really commend us are the adoptive parents, but I know this is for obvious reasons; because of us they have a child. Birthmother come from all walks of life. Some of us are well to do, some of us are coming out of broken marriages pregnant with an extra child we cannot be emotionally prepared for. Rarely are there birthmoms who willingly place their baby that are drug-addicts, abusive, etc. And for those adoptive parents who do things the right way, you should be commended too! It takes a lot of love a child not of your blood!
Julian’s Mom- You are absolutely right. I don’t have a problem with abortion, I do feel a woman has a right to choose about parenthood and her body. But I know too many people who are die-hard against both abortion and adoption. I guess both are sensetive subjects. But then, even if you were in a monogamous relationship (or married), people will still look at your darkly regardless of whether you aborted or placed.

I just started a new job and no one knows of my now three month old daughter I placed at birth, and this brings some relief. I worked through that pregnancy and I was getting swamped with Q’s about the baby. Then I got the “Why did you keep one if you cannot afford a kid?” I wanted to slap her. She made her own assumption off something she had no knowledge of. People need to be more sensetive. This decision is a hard decision and the pain will never lessen. I remind myself how good Z is doing with her parents.
James Wadkin- I don’t kid myself about the failed marriage. Things were finally deemed irrepairable by the time I found out I was pregnant.

Best answer:

Answer by ??Julian’sMommy??
Same goes for when a woman has an abortion, why should they have to hear the same things as what you are talking about. I feel that abortion and adoption is the same thing -in the end the mom does not have her child- so why should one be different than the other?

Answer by James Watkin
Well, probably because people see in the news lately, all the unwed moms with five baby daddy whose boyfriend kills their kid.
Or the fact that when you can’t afford a kid, you can use birth control. It’s cheaper than raising another kid. So ya, people get negative.
And marriages don’t break overnight honey, they are broken long before divorce. So don’t kid yourself if you think thinks were wonderful and we wer having a child, blah blah blah. The people that are negative are tired of hearing that same old baloney.